Random Thoughts: Am I The Only One?

Like most people in this world, I often wonder if I’m the only one who thinks a certain way or feels a certain way about, well, anything. Sometimes I do weird shit, sometimes I think weird shit, and sometimes weird shit just happens to me. But I know I’m not alone. So I’ve compiled this extremely random list for you today.

I wonder if I am the only one who…:

  • has absolutely no clue how to defog the car windows when it rains. Should it be all the way hot? All the way cold? Is there some kind of a shortcut? Why is this so difficult??
  • has no idea how to use a barbecue, with no intention of learning how to do so. My klutziness doesn’t go well with open flames and it’s terrifying.
  • drives like a total idiot when I’m following another car. What if I lose them? What if they lose me?? Why can’t we all just use our GPS like normal people and meet there???
  • doesn’t understand when people say they “forgot to eat” or “haven’t eaten all day”. How is that even possible? What and when I plan to eat next is like the default setting in my brain.
  • breaks at least one glass, plate, bowl, jar, or bottle per week. I once broke five dishes and seven bowls at one time. Read that ridiculous story here.
  • secretly loves every single song on that damn Frozen soundtrack, and sometimes puts it on without my daughter even asking. It’s time I came out about this one. Dammit, it feels good to be free.
  • still gets a big kick out of stepping on crunchy leaves in the fall. It’s freakishly satisfying.
  • prefers to park my car further away and just walk more. I’m usually a lazy person, but who the hell has time to wait around for the perfect parking spot?
  • can’t make coffee without spilling coffee grinds everywhere. Ditto for the milk if it’s from Costco (you Costco people get it).
  • deletes my Facebook app once every few months, then re-downloads it less than 24 hours later. Who knew the most passionate love/hate relationship I’d ever have in my life would be with a stupid website?
  • always has to think for a second when asked how old I am (but could never fail to quickly recite my children’s ages, birth weight, and the exact minute they were born, if asked).
  • screams “you’re welcome” at strangers who fail to say “thank you” when necessary.
  • occasionally talks out loud to no one in particular….in public.
  • finds wearing socks under a blanket to be physically impossible.Okay…pants, too.
  • feels a surge of pride every time I successfully retrieve an object using only my toes.
  • wears my watch on the “wrong” hand. With a dead battery. If only righties could be lefties two times a day like broken clocks, then all would be right with the world.
  • rarely used my double stroller after having my second child because I kept forgetting how to open it.
  • gets extremely annoyed when I turn on Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel for the kids and realize it’s either 20 or 50 minutes after the hour. Why can’t they just make 30 minute episodes??
  • is grossed out by cold pizza. If it tasted better cold, they would serve it that way in the first place.
  • kinda feels bad for telemarketers. They’re just trying to do their job.
  • unfailingly ends up with the most spastic cart at the supermarket. And it gets more squeaky, more wobbly, and more spastic with every item placed inside.
  • unfailingly ends up in the slowest checkout line at the supermarket. Often behind the type of person who pays for groceries with their checkbook.
  • didn’t learn how to “close out” an app on my iPhone until about two years after purchasing it.
  • quickly changes the channel the second I hear Sarah McLaughlin’s voice. (I’m definitely not alone there, right? Those commercials are the WORST).
  • saves certain outfits or articles of clothing for “special occasions,” and then never ends up wearing them at all. Where the hell do I ever go??
  • thinks window shopping should  mean buying windows instead of buying nothing.
  • occasionally talks on the phone in the bathroom. They can’t really SEE you, you know

I could probably go on all day, but that’s all the time I have for rambling right now.  Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what’s on your list!

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10 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: Am I The Only One?

  1. I talk on the phone while I’m peeing all the time 🙂
    And the trick to defrost car windows in the rain – use the A/C. Seriously, the dehumidifying aspect of the AC is what helps get rid of the humid fog the rain produces.
    I wear my watch upside down – so take that! #winning
    And Sarah McLaughlin and Kit Kat Bar commercials – my son tells me I become an Olympic Athlete each time they come on because I run, jump and hurdle my way to the remote so fast you’d think I was The Flash!

    • You know, I noticed the A/C thing does seem to work. But I don’t want to believe it, because sometimes it’s too cold for the A/C!! Thanks for the tip, at least now I know what needs to be done 😉
      Upside down watch? You’re a rebel. And I like it.

  2. I’ve never forgotten to eat. Aren’t we programmed to get hungry when we need food?
    The other day I told someone I was 36. I’m 37. I think.
    Same grocery issues. I cringe every time a pick a shopping cart. I get a new one if it’s too wobbly and sometimes I’ve gone through three of them before I get one that I deem satisfactory.
    What’s even worse about the checkbook is they don’t even bother to pre fill in the name of the store, date or their signature. They just stand there staring into space the whole time and then whip out the checkbook once the clerk rings up the total. So inconsiderate!

  3. I also have a hard time with the freaking defroster in the car. I try the AC and then it makes it more foggy, so I try the heat and it doesn’t work either. I can never win and I hate it.

    I forget my husband’s age at times. I often forget that he’s nearly three years younger than me. Awful, I know.

    Confession: I also love the Frozen soundtrack more than the average adult should. #NoShame

    I have the hardest time with the coffee maker. We have a Keurig, so that’s super easy to use, but when it is time to break out the traditional coffee pot when company is over, I have no idea how to use it. I don’t drink coffee (besides the occasional Starbucks run), so I never know how much coffee to put in the filter. I make my coffee addict husband do it.

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