Doin’ My Working Mom Thang

If you’ve stopped by my blog in the past few weeks, you might have heard crickets chirping in place of the usual 1500+ words on what’s been pissing me off lately.  I promise I haven’t decided to call it a day on my little writing adventure.  Nor have I been vacationing in the Caribbean, in case you were wondering (and also don’t know me at all).

The truth is that I’ve crossed over to the other side, folks.  I’m going back to work.

As much fun as being a stay-at-home-mom has been (at times), I think it’s time for a change.  Those of you familiar with the six things I’m too broke to do will understand that I’ve simply come to a point where I’ve seen one Magic Kingdom picture too many.

So I’ve accepted a position at a wonderful company that allows its employees to maintain a flexible schedule in order to more easily balance time between work and family.  I feel extremely blessed to have stumbled upon such an amazing opportunity.  To my new boss, if you’re reading this:  you’re seriously awesome.  I really appreciate you giving this mama a chance.  And I swear I’m not just saying that because, well, you’re my boss and stuff.

Now that I’m doing my working mom thing (which I still kind of can’t even believe), I’ve been understandably distracted.  I started work about a week ago and my mind has been going a mile a minute ever since.  So, being the open book I am, I figured I’d share some of my (in the moment) first-week thoughts with you, in case you’re wondering how the transition is going.

  • Holy crap, I’m in an office.  There are only adults present.  And people are doing work—quietly. There are permanent markers and breakable picture frames very visibly displayed on desks barely two feet off the floor.   Nobody is crying, or whining, or asking for orange juice, or biting anyone.  I thought places like this only existed on TV.
  • Not only did I shower and do my hair this morning, but I also put on MAKEUP.  And then?  I put on pants.  No, not SWEATpants.  Real pants.  Pants!
  • I wonder what Big M is doing with Little D right now.  I hope they’re playing together.  No, wait.  I kind of hope she’s driving him crazy.   What do you do all day, my ass.
  • This is a lot different than my first day at my last big new job.  Last time, I went out afterward to celebrate with friends and drinks at the bar.  This time, I went food shopping afterward, then celebrated with an early bedtime and some herbal tea.  I’m a real wild woman in my 30’s.
  • What happens if my son’s school calls my phone and I don’t hear it?  Last time they called, it was to tell me that someone had hurled on him (yes, that happened).  Will he have to sit in a pool of some other kid’s upchuck until I finally look at my phone next time?  I better take it off of vibrate.  Not that people are vomiting on him left and right, but just in case…
  • How is it possible to miss my kids so much all day long, and then come home and still find myself anxiously awaiting their bedtime?  What kind of crap is that? Go away, mom guilt!
  • Pretty soon I’ll be less broke than I am now.  Woohoo!  I’m going to Disney World!  Which we’ve already established.  So…
  • I really need to update my blog.  My thousands of adoring readers must be wondering where I’ve been.  Ha!  Couldn’t even type that with a straight face.
  • This doesn’t actually feel real yet. I feel like I should be home right now, knee deep in dirty diapers and Doc McStuffins.
  •  I’m just gonna go ahead and say it.  I’m proud of myself.  It’s been tough saying goodbye to my babies every day, but I need to do this for me and for them too.  It would be great if I could just stay home with them, but this scraping-by thing is kinda bullshit.  So yea, I’m about to grab this working mom thing by the short-and-curlies and rock it out.  Go me.  Insert happy face here.
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