There’s a meme floating around that says, “People don’t realize dating a drug dealer when you’re a teenager is key character development.” It cracks me up.

At 18, my boyfriend owned a tattoo parlor and drove a stick-shift RX-7 with a “Barely Street Legal” decal on the windshield, so I can sort of relate. He left me with more damage than just a scar from a botched naval piercing. In all fairness, I did a number on him too, but that’s just how young love is.

Or is it? I used to think so. Puppy love turns toxic quickly when you blend hormones with immaturity. But does the lack of a fully formed frontal lobe really prevent young people from developing healthy romantic relationships? Maybe not … anymore.

When my best friend’s daughter was in high school, I recall asking if she was dating anyone. Her reply – at just 17 years old – was, “I have school and work and friends to worry about before I get distracted by some GUY.”

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor to praise my friend for the great job she did raising such a mature, self-aware young woman. She humbly expressed gratitude before reminding me how, at that age, she was regularly getting into fist fights over pimple-faced, delinquent boys after school.

Sounds cliché, but things were just different back then. Case in point: my favorite musician was Eminem. I had memorized every word of his gloriously catchy first album – the one featuring some of the most horrifying lyrics one could imagine about the mother of his child and even his own mother.

But songs degrading women climbed the charts back then, and we were all mindlessly singing along. Don’t come for me; I still love Eminem. Like the times, he’s done a major 180 (he is literally a grandpa now!). Thankfully, today’s music is, for the most part, a lot less offensive. In fact, there’s currently a TikTok trend where parents show their teenage kids a popular song from their youth to see how shocked they’ll be by the vulgar lyrics. The kids are usually quite stunned.

There’s no denying it; a dynamic cultural shift has taken effect, and it’s seemingly caused young people to approach dating – and everything that goes along with it – with caution.

The #MeToo movement started while many Gen Z’ers were in high school, helping to normalize things like consent and bodily autonomy. While older generations see these words and recoil in disgust, younger folks just see common sense. Is giving someone permission to touch you really that absurd?

Whereas my generation grew up catering to the male gaze, this one sets its beauty standards online. You can dress to impress literally thousands without leaving the house. In my day, if I got all done up and didn’t run into my crush, it was a day wasted. Why did we put so much emphasis on the importance of being sought after by men? I will never understand it.

The last generations who grew up without social media are constantly slamming the technological revolution, often revering the old days when everyone enjoyed life un-tracked and unbothered. But it might be a root cause of the smarter decisions young people are starting to make when it comes to finding a significant other.

Today, a girl will post a “selfie” only to find the vast majority of positive comments coming from women: “That eye makeup is fire”; “You are seriously SLAYING in that dress.” While my generation pitted women against each other (ahem, Brandy and Monica), this one is learning the value of lifting each other up, queens fixing each other’s crowns instead of ripping them off. Essentially, girls aren’t posting to impress the guy who commented a bunch of creepy side eye emojis.

Speaking of creeps… With the surge in online dating, young women are also learning to be more cautious with the people they meet. That’s probably why women are, by far, the largest consumers of true crime. Some of my favorite true crime podcasters are Gen Z women, regularly reminding me that I should keep my drink covered in public and my phone location on at all times. I shudder thinking of how many shots I took in my youth from strangers in bars without a second thought, how many rides home I accepted that could have ended with me pushing daisies.

It’s not just the girls with their guards up, either. Several friends have reported their teenage sons confided in them regarding not having sex, citing a simple lack of readiness. Perhaps male promiscuity is finally losing appeal? Up until about a decade or two ago, a boy could sleep with a teacher and get a high five from his own father. This is no longer the case, as such predators are finally being held responsible for their disturbing actions, often subject to harsh punishment from the law and ever harsher judgement from the court of public opinion.

It all boils down to this: our children are living in a different world than the one we grew up in. And that is not always a bad thing. Blame the culture, blame the internet, or maybe just good old fashioned common sense, but our kids are already making better choices than we did. We must be doing something right.

This article is published in Land of Mothers, Issue 1.