I will enjoy QUALITY TIME with them this summer if it’s the last thing I do!

I just bought beach chairs that I really can’t afford. My budget right now is STRICTLY bills, gas and groceries, and sticking to it is harder than opening a jar of Talenti. 

But I look at my new Tommy Bahama as an investment, one in which time with my children is the currency. I imagine my daughter and I this summer, side by side on the sand in our matching chairs, watching the waves crashing and gossiping over turkey sandwiches. Maybe my son and his sweet girlfriend will join us, and we can chat and get to know each other while soaking in the sea air and sunshine. It sounds like a perfect day, so simple. And yet I’ve never had the chance to make it happen.

It’s been so long since I had the summer off I don’t even know what to do with myself – or my children. I sure could have used this free time when they were a little younger. There‘s always cheap stuff to do in the summer that won’t cost you an arm and a leg. Library programs, movie matinees, the park, pools, small zoos or aquariums, even the backyard can become an oasis for kids with a little creativity. 

Unfortunately, teenagers endure a different breed of summertime boredom, one not easily combated with ice cream cones, pool days and singalongs. You can’t even get them out of their rooms most of the time, never mind the whole house. 

But this summer I am making it my mission to enjoy as much time as possible with my moody teens. 

I was talking to a friend of mine recently who made an interesting observation about his girlfriend. He said that, although she still lives next door to her parents, they rarely spend any actual time together, and it he found it strange. My own parents moved a thousand miles away, and I found her situauation more relatable than he did.

So I asked him if he spent a lot of time with his own parents growing up, to which he replied that his father used to force him to spend time together. The dad pick would him up from wherever he was hanging with his friends and they’d go to the park or a movie or whatever. He said he’d get annoyed leaving his friends at first, but then his dad would crack a joke and they’d laugh and he’d forget all about everything else.

He then added sadly, “I’m especially happy now for that time together, since he passed away when I was 15.”  

Damn. That hit hard.

I’m not saying I need to drop everything and spend some time with the kids in case I also drop dead soon (although it’s not the worst motivation). I just need to find new ways to connect with them so that someday, when they are adults, they will go out of their way to spend time with me as much as I do for them now. I’m not sure, but I think it really is that simple.

I’m not gonna go all full on North Korea, cutting off wifi and locking devices in a safe to get them to touch grass this summer (another true story), but I’m going to ever-so-gently prod them into some quality time that will be good for all of us.

How hard can it be? (Famous last words..)

Pexels/Leeloo The First